Random acts of mischief

Since I got a pretty good response to my public apology, here's a little spin off..

It's easy to think that our kids are the only ones who ever do anything wrong. It cracks me up to get on Pinterest and read about all of these fantastic parenting techniques and activities that would really only work for June Cleaver. I've tried these and my kids do not cooperate. Don't get me wrong, my kids are good - most of the time - but Katelyn is extremely energetic and curious, and Jameson follows whatever his big sister is doing. But just because my kids aren't picture-perfect doesn't mean they aren't normal. Whoever said family life was supposed to be like some old-fashioned sitcom? So instead of sitting here and typing about how picture-perfect my kids are, I'm gonna let you in on some normal mommy secrets.. I won't be winning any mother-of-the-year awards after this one, but moms don't talk about this kind of stuff. I'm not sure why because I get a pretty good laugh about them AFTER they happen (and all messes are cleaned up). So here are some anti-picture-perfect acts from my little rascals. ;)

In Katelyn's short 4 years of life, she has managed to...

• Try to turn coffee grounds into an afternoon snack
• Draw on a brand new remodeled booth with dark blue crayon at a restaurant that will not be named
• Use the (brand new) couches and carpet in the living room as her canvas with mustard and chocolate syrup
• Draw a cute little picture on our newly-painted bedroom walls
• Squeeze two entire bottles of honey into my diaper bag

In Jameson's short 2 years of life, he has managed to...

• Draw a cute little picture on the living room wall.. And the kitchen wall.. And his bedroom wall.
• Somehow leave a decent sized hole in his bedroom wall
• Rip open a bean bag chair in his crib
• Spend an entire meal at the very same restaurant that will not be named (different occasion) throwing wet wipes over the glass divider onto a poor guy on the other side.

Like I said, my kids are pretty good and I love them to death, but I feel like shouting from the rooftop to all the other moms out there that these things happen and it's NORMAL. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. So do all you moms feel a little bit more normal now? :)

What's on your....

I love lists. I make lists for everything and leave them laying everywhere. I bet there are probably five different grocery lists in my purse right now.. So I saw this today and thought it fit me pretty perfectly.

What's On Your....

To-Do List: Clean the litter box, give the dog a bath, clean the house, finish the laundry, pull weeds in the flower bed, pick up my prescription from the pharmacy, order King's Island tickets for Katelyn's birthday, mail Katelyn's preschool paperwork, figure out which math class I'm taking next semester.. Ugh.

Mind: Oh, so many things.

Bucket List: Finish school, get a good job, provide a good life for my kids, make it out of Richmond.

Regrets List: Not going to college after high school. Not "finding myself" sooner.

Last Credit Card Statement: Nothing, it's empty. (Woohoo!)

Shit List: Close-minded & judgmental people. Butterflies. Nancy Grace.

Playlist: Lots of alternative and 80's rock.

Qualities in a Friend List: A sense of humor, an open mind, and patience (I have 2 kids. A usual 5 minute conversation takes about 20 minutes.)

Go-To Menu: I like quick and easy. Subway veggie delight, anyone?

Workout Regimen: Hitting the trail for a jog or power walk. I hate pretty much all other exercise.

Must-See-TV List: I'm a TV junkie.. More specifically, a trash TV junkie.. But I love Revenge, How the Universe Works, The Client List, Army Wives, Pretty Little Liars, Awkward, and Brain Games. And CNN! Duh, I love CNN. I have a signed picture of Anderson Cooper on my dresser. Framed. Totally not kidding.

Quote to Live By List: "Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others." - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in." - Isaac Asimov

"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground." - Teddy Roosevelt

Celebrities You Admire List: For what they represent and stand for, Ricky Gervais, Kristen Bell, Seth McFarlane, Zach Braff, Emma Watson, Ellen DeGeneres, and Emma Stone.

Movies That Never Get Old List: Fun With Dick & Jane, Cruel Intentions, The Notebook, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club

Life Advice For Your Kids List: Be happy. Be a good person. Do your best.

My weirdest habits

When I told my husband I would be writing about this topic, he told me I could go on for days. He's right, but I picked three so you don't think I'm a total freak.

1.) I won't buy the first item (unless it's food) on the shelf. I will move the first one and grab the second one; especially if it's something like lotion or perfume. What's the first thing you do when you go to buy one of these things? You try it out! You open it, you smell it, etc.. I don't need someone else's nose all over my perfume, am I right?

2.) I unplug the coffee maker when it's not on. I swear this stems from Christopher telling me once that a coffee maker caught on fire. (Remember my fear of fire?) If the coffee maker is off, it has to be unplugged or I'll lose my marbles. My husband makes fun of me all the time, but I used to unplug the microwave and electric can opener too, so I've made progress. My mother-in-law leaves her scent warmers (is that what they're called?) on all day while she's at work and it keeps me up at night. I need therapy.

3.) I look in people's windows.. Ha! Now wait just a second. I'm not some creeper, but if I'm driving by at night and your lights are on and curtains are open, HELLO!, I'm going to look in. My husband has admitted to doing this too, so I know there are some fellow creepers out there!

I really hesitated on pushing the "publish" button because of that last one. Don't worry, I'm not looking in your windows! And don't judge me, but feel free to comment with some of your own! ;)

My public apology

Good grief. It's been a long time since I wrote a new blog post. I actually kind of forgot I had a blog (oops!). So tonight I give you not one, but TWO, new posts! First up, I am checking another idea off of my blog challenge and tonight it's issuing a public apology. (Some of you might already know where I am going with this.)

Dear teenage girls waiting in line and employees working at Sally's Beauty Supply,

It may have come to your attention that a few weeks ago I was in the store looking at nail polish with my - almost - 4-year-old daughter. (I know you noticed because I spent the entire time telling her to "Come back here," "Stay away from the door," "Get out of the way," and "Stop throwing that.") I was just trying to get in and out as quickly as possible. When I finally had enough time to actually look at the nail polish between chasing my daughter around and putting things back she had messed with, I waited in line just like you to pay for my items. Little did I know, my daughter was standing behind me while I was being rung up with her pants - and underwear - around her ankles. I am very sorry that you had to see this, and I'm sorry that I couldn't make eye contact with anyone as I yanked her pants back up and walked out of the store, more embarrassed than I ever have been in my entire life. I asked her why she did this when we got in the car and she said, "Because it was funny." I feel obligated to tell you that she had to have learned this from her father and I was in no way involved. I hope you accept my deepest apology.

Sincerely,
Emily

Something I feel strongly about

I have a low tolerance for intolerance.. If that makes sense.

Yesterday I was at the grocery and there was a little boy a couple of aisles over from me that was not happy. He had obviously had it and his mom was doing her best to calm him down. She was done shopping, was checking out, and had another boy with her. This is how the conversation with my cashier went:

Me: "She has more patience than me. I just take my kids home because I can't handle it."

Cashier: "Well, it's amazing what some people will let their kids get away with."

Me: "Yeah, but sometimes kids just throw fits and you can't really control it."

Cashier: "You can if you teach them it's wrong from the start. You just don't let them act like that. I raised five kids and none of them acted like that."

Me: "It's probably just the terrible twos. I think most kids go through it."

Cashier: "Mine didn't. I raised five kids. It's not like I don't know what I'm talking about."

This is when I bit my tongue. First of all, how exactly do you control a two-year-old? Second of all, who does this lady think she is? The kid could have been sick. He could have been tired or hungry. The point is, she had no clue. I have found that most of the cashiers at this particular store are pretty blunt (I prefer the word rude), but this kind of thing makes me want to scream.

And there you have the topic of this blog: something I feel strongly about. Why are people so quick to judge things that they know nothing about? It's something I have never been able to wrap my head around. Are you that unhappy with your own life that you can't accept people for who they are? If you can't accept them, at least just keep your mouth shut. You sound bitter and insecure. It's no secret that I am one of the most liberally-minded people probably ever, but acceptance should be a human characteristic, NOT a liberal one. If you feel the need to judge someone out loud, think about this:

1. You don't know them. You don't know their situation. You don't know ANYTHING other than what you're seeing at that very moment.

2. You're not perfect. Get off your high horse and calm down.

3. You get one life. One. Do you really want to spend it degrading other people?

What's even more pathetic than the conversation I had with this cashier is when people dedicate their entire Facebook to talking smack about other people. This just makes me think that they are so unhappy with themselves that they have to point out others' flaws to feel better. Please don't use social media to spread hate and intolerance.

I'm big on acceptance. You don't have to like everyone. You don't have to hang out and be friends with them, but for pete's sake, you can't change them. So just accept it and move on!

This goes for everyone and everything. You parent differently than me? Cool! As long as you take care of your kids, I applaud you. Whatever works. You're super religious? Awesome! We all see the world differently. You're a Republican? Fantastic! Exercise your right to vote. You're gay? Great! Love is love. I absolutely do not care what you do with your own life because it's your life. I don't understand why people can't comprehend this. I have a cousin who is the exact opposite of me. We couldn't be more different.. Our solution? We put our differences aside and ACCEPT each other! We know each other, and we know that deep down we're both good people regardless of our choices and viewpoints in life. We get along great because of this. (Love ya, Jeremy!)

Look, we all make those quick judgments, especially ones we keep to ourselves; however, it is absolutely, positively NOT okay to blatantly criticize how others live their lives or tell them that they are somehow living their lives wrong. I'm not saying we all have to be perfect, but as H. Jackson Brown, Jr. once said, "Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others."

Next up on the blog challenge...

I've decided to skip around on the blog challenge a little bit. Tonight's topic: my top 5 greatest accomplishments. If you would have asked me 10 years ago what I thought I would have accomplished by now, I would have told you that I would be done with college, possibly married, and happily employed as a (insert whatever I wanted to be at 14 here). Now here I am at 24 with only one of those crossed off the list. Although I'm not exactly where I thought I would be, I'm still proud of the things I have accomplished, despite the curve balls life has thrown at me. Of course, things don't happen by chance. Where I am is a result of the choices I have made, but life is about where you go from there. So, here are my top 5 accomplishments (in no particular order):

1. I went back to school. I honestly didn't think I ever would, but I've successfully completed two semesters with a 4.0 and have already received two certifications. I still have a long way to go, but it's a start. I'm glad I waited to go back because I would have changed my mind a million times and, consequently, wasted a lot of money. Never in a million years did I think I would be studying legal office administration.

2. I have kept 2 human beings alive. I'm not kidding here. This is quite a job! I'm proud to say that my husband and I are very hands-on, involved parents, and our kids are happy, healthy, and taken care of. Katelyn is actually intellectually ahead of kids her age and I've never seen a more loving two-year-old than Jameson. We all make mistakes as parents and sometimes we feel like failures, but I'll consider my parenting skills successful if my kids can grow up knowing that I was always there and I did my best.

3. I lost over 50 pounds. I'm sure you all know about this by now. I have all but gone to the tallest building in Richmond and shouted it from the rooftop, but hey, I'm proud of myself! For four years I would try to lose weight, but I wouldn't stick with it. It only took a high blood pressure reading, gallstones and a gallbladder removal, and high cholesterol to kick my butt into gear. I - literally - worked my ass off to lose this weight and it is not coming back.

4. I changed my lifestyle. I don't stuff my face like I used to and exercise is no longer my worst enemy. Here's a picture of a normal meal for me now. A plate full of veggies and some fruit, granola, and yogurt. (No, it's not Greek. Shame on me.)
 And to think a year ago I hated cauliflower and would gag at the thought of yogurt. I decided that my health and being around for my kids' future was more important than 10 minutes of indulgence. I also made the decision to become a vegetarian 3.5 months ago.

5. I'm starting to find myself. In my twenties, I've developed hobbies and interests.. Stuff I just really like to do. I like politics and science, doing my nails, and baking. Teenage years are so rough. I wasn't good at anything and I didn't have any hobbies, but in my twenties I feel more independent, more comfortable, and more accepted when it comes to what I like and who I am.

You can plan out your whole life, but I can pretty much guarantee that the cards won't fall that way. All in all, these accomplishments mean more to me than anything I could have thought up 10 years ago because they're real. I put in the work and now I get to reap the benefits. Beats some fairy tale plan any day.



P.S. A new blog theme is the works.. Check back later. :)

Cleaning day

Once or twice a week, and sometimes more often than that, I'm burdened with the task of cleaning the house. We don't live in a mansion or anything, but after a few days of toddler living (times 2) and sheltering a very furry dog and my not-so-organized husband, our 1200 square feet of paradise turns into a disaster. Today was one of those days that I motivated myself to plow through the madness and restore the house to its (almost) normal state..

I had already started some laundry before Christopher got home, but it wasn't quite finished. When the kids laid down for a nap, the race was on. I started in on the cleaning. I usually hate the dishes and put them off until the last minute, but today I did them first. I really hate doing the dishes.. Loathe unloading the dishwasher like no other chore that has ever had to be done. But like I said, I started there. I had just finished unloading the dishwasher when my husband came in and started to load it. The usual for my husband. I don't know if he thinks he is helping me out or if he just doesn't know what else to do, but if I'm in the middle of doing something, my husband is the first to try and finish the job. This drives me nuts. If I have to do any part of the dishes, I would rather load the dishwasher - the easiest part. I suggested he dust or clean the bathroom if he wanted to help. He then walked toward the living room, away from the dusting spray AND the bathroom. But he didn't get out of it that easily.

When I finally convinced him to do some dusting, I trudged on to bathroom. I cleaned the toilet, the sink, and the shower (yeah right, I didn't clean the shower), then I decided to check on the husband. He was standing in front of the TV texting. To his credit, he had at least finished the dusting. I silently debated with myself whether or not I should ask him to vacuum. Does your husband vacuum? I haven't gotten a peer review on this, but I have this theory that men do a horrible job so their wife won't ask them to do anything again. Sorry, Christopher, it won't work this time. I had about 20 minutes before the kids would decide that they were not going to sleep, so I had to move fast. It's been said that having toddlers is like running a blender with the lid off. Whoever said this was a genius. It does not matter how well you clean your house, toddlers will find a way to destroy it in about 5 minutes.

So anyway, my husband vacuumed after I decided that he was qualified for the job (no one was coming over and I wasn't looking for perfection). In my husband's defense, it is pretty much impossible to clean up all of Peanut's hair. She runs and lays in another room whenever she hears the vacuum, so unless you chase her around and sweep up the circle of hair where she way laying, you have to settle for what you get. I swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom, so that left the husband with the living room, hallway, Jameson's room, Katelyn's room, our room, and the office. Sounds like a lot, I know, but keep in mind, I do this EVERY week (sometimes twice). He managed to sweep the living room and our bedroom before losing focus and turning on Mario. Ya gotta love him though. He really does try.

By that time, the kids were out of their rooms and we had to start dinner. We still hadn't swept the kids' rooms, the hallway, or the office, and there was a load of laundry in the washer that needed dried, one in the dryer that needed folded, and an overflowing basket of folded clothes that needed put away. It's okay though. The washer will probably run three more times with the same load of clothes because I will keep forgetting, the load in the dryer will run once more to get the wrinkles out when the washer is finally done, and the clothes will sit in the basket until we've worn them all. Even if we had swept the kids' rooms, they would need swept again tomorrow. I have learned to just be satisfied with whatever I can accomplish in my very rare spare time.

So here we sit a few hours later. Dinner is done and the kids are playing Mario and you can't really tell we even cleaned.

If none of this pertains to you, then I assume you're Supermom.. And can you come clean my house?